I will start by pointing out my immediate failings at being a blogger. I’ve never done it before and barely knew where to start typing. Tom set this all up for me so anything you see that is weird or you don’t like, attribute it to him.
The reason I decided to sit down and start this today is that the movers are here and everywhere I go, I feel like I’m in the way. So I’ve retreated to Elizabeth’s room where I can type quietly without bothering anybody (except for Elizabeth whose stuff I intend to riffle through).
So as I said the movers are here and the landscape of our apartment is changing rapidly. What was a cluttered apartment with a vague decorating scheme and then a sea of boxes is now a scantily furnished and decorated apartment. It’s not like my stuff was everything but it was at least half and it’s absence is noticeable.
But I’m not sitting down to do this today to be depressing. I don’t want my stuff being gone to be a symbol of something sad. Instead I’m looking at this as my first exposure to the military. They’re paying for all the packing and moving of my stuff. And so far, the experience has been good. They’ve been super fast and efficient and I have yet to see anything broken. We’ll reevaluate when I get to North Dakota and unpack and actually see if everything is in one piece.
Don’t worry, I know this has been a lame post. I just spent 15 minutes in the bathroom with the cats (they’re in there so they don’t run out during the moving) crying so I’m feeling a little drained. I want to stay positive but right now I’m finding that difficult so I figure I should just wrap it up. I hope that in a month or two when I look back at this time, I’ll be happy that I went through it and will know that I made the right decision. But right now, the thought of leaving my life in Chicago with Elizabeth, Tom, the cats and all my other friends is absolutely killing me which obviously makes me question why I’m even doing it. So I just hope that this pain will be justified by the life I establish down the road…a better life for not just me, but also those I care about. Although I always said Elizabeth and I couldn’t live together forever, deep down I somehow believed we could. Facing the reality of moving on is harder than I ever thought it would be.
My final thought: I’m freezing my ass off because the movers leave the door open the whole time…even when they’re on their smoke breaks.